No matter how low cost the bride tries to make it (and most definitely do not try), weddings for the bridesmaid end up costing bank.
First, the dress. Which is never cheap. For the wedding I'm about to be in, the price wasn't a total bank breaker (for which I am forever grateful), but... then you have to fix the dress. And mine were no simple fixes. The shoulder straps needed to be brought up, the waist taken in, shortened, and a piece made to cover up "the girls" (a deep V dress never works on girls who have "girls" - just a word of advice for those dreaming about their weddings). All of this? Cost the exact same amount I paid for the dress. So what was once semi, kind of, maybe, I can barely handle it, reasonably priced, became mucho more expensive.
What's worse? It doesn't fit! My tailor took in the waist, then raised the shoulders. I have an hour-glass shape, meaning my waist is much smaller than my back/bust area. Meaning, the dress doesn't fit. So now I'm on a hardcore healthy living plan. Yes, healthy living. I am NOT dieting. I eat next to no food (compared to before, don't worry, still eating!) and workout twice a day. I'm also considering Spanx so I can eat that night - don't worry, I'll have a whole blog about that alone someday.
Now to continue to the added cost. Shoes are next. And with many bridesmaid dresses, they need to be dyed to match, meaning a very limited choice. Then there's the option of a purse, which I did so I can be the helpful maid of honor and hold her lipstick. And don't forget the nail appointment for tips/nails to be re-done, toes to be done for the open toe shoes, and I, personally, have the added cost of hair because, for those who recall, I have pain-in-the-ass hair.
Then there's the bachelorette party cost and gift. Luckily I have dresses already for the tea, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner or I might just have to pop myself.
Add in a destination wedding, which is the case for some brides. The monstrosity of airline tickets is rather depressing.
But it's all worth it when the friends are happy on the day of, seeing as how it is her day. But the getting there?
Well, hopefully I can find a way to pay my June rent :).
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Welcome to My Dating Life
I can already hear my dad saying, "I'm not going to read this!" and my mom considering the same. I promise, nothing terrible, dirty, or otherwise unreadable.
So I've been internet dating off and on for years - having also studied it. It should come as no surprise that I still do so. Internet dating has many pros and cons, as does meeting people in various other ways. So please, if you're considering it, do not let this story talk you out of it - this is one of those funny exceptions that you simply have to take as a grain of salt.
On this web site I have to email five people per month and so I find this one guy who seems nice enough whom I email. He hits me up while I'm on the site (they have a chatting service) and he gets a bit heavy on the compliments, "Oh you're so pretty, you have such a great smile, yak yak yak." Don't get me wrong, I love compliments as much as the next person, but if it's overboard in person, it's worse on the computer. (And no, this wasn't a plug to share how beautiful I am and how great my smile is)
So later on in the evening we're chatting and he says, "You're going to hate me." I respond, "What? Already? Why?!"
"You turn me on"
I'd like to note to all of you cynical and sarcastic people out there, there are no pictures that even remotely show "the girls" on this web site, so don't you go getting dirty on me and saying, "duh".
Which makes this almost even more hilarious because it's just my face... which means... well... I'll let you fill in the blanks!
Adding insult to injury, I then got contacted on the same site by what is possibly the hairiest man I have ever seen.
And people wonder why I don't get out much?!
I kid. Mostly.
So I've been internet dating off and on for years - having also studied it. It should come as no surprise that I still do so. Internet dating has many pros and cons, as does meeting people in various other ways. So please, if you're considering it, do not let this story talk you out of it - this is one of those funny exceptions that you simply have to take as a grain of salt.
On this web site I have to email five people per month and so I find this one guy who seems nice enough whom I email. He hits me up while I'm on the site (they have a chatting service) and he gets a bit heavy on the compliments, "Oh you're so pretty, you have such a great smile, yak yak yak." Don't get me wrong, I love compliments as much as the next person, but if it's overboard in person, it's worse on the computer. (And no, this wasn't a plug to share how beautiful I am and how great my smile is)
So later on in the evening we're chatting and he says, "You're going to hate me." I respond, "What? Already? Why?!"
"You turn me on"
I'd like to note to all of you cynical and sarcastic people out there, there are no pictures that even remotely show "the girls" on this web site, so don't you go getting dirty on me and saying, "duh".
Which makes this almost even more hilarious because it's just my face... which means... well... I'll let you fill in the blanks!
Adding insult to injury, I then got contacted on the same site by what is possibly the hairiest man I have ever seen.
And people wonder why I don't get out much?!
I kid. Mostly.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
An Answer to a Question
I was asked a question, in regard to the topic of the post below, gay marriage.
Why does it matter so much to me?
I am clearly a believer in free speech, so I will have my voice heard. I am a believer in equality. We must strive to be equal and not allow laws to demean this ideal.
And then there are the more personal reasons. First, I know what it is to be beaten down upon and censured because I am hearing impaired. Why would I perpetuate the wrongs done to me?
But more... my father has been off and on ill in some respect or another for the past 8 years. He has been to the hospital many times. Every time, my mother can walk in those doors and say, "My husband is back there. Please take me to him."
There are people not allowed to do this. People want to make this ultimate commitment to each other, the commitment to stand by each other through thick and thin, sickness and health. Yet they cannot stand by each other in sickness and it brings tears to my eyes.
It breaks my heart that we cannot be there for each other in our times of need. There are people who need to be there for each other in times of sickness and I need to support that.
Ultimately... the words of Martin Niemoller are applicable here.
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me
and by then there was no one left to speak out for me.
Why does it matter so much to me?
I am clearly a believer in free speech, so I will have my voice heard. I am a believer in equality. We must strive to be equal and not allow laws to demean this ideal.
And then there are the more personal reasons. First, I know what it is to be beaten down upon and censured because I am hearing impaired. Why would I perpetuate the wrongs done to me?
But more... my father has been off and on ill in some respect or another for the past 8 years. He has been to the hospital many times. Every time, my mother can walk in those doors and say, "My husband is back there. Please take me to him."
There are people not allowed to do this. People want to make this ultimate commitment to each other, the commitment to stand by each other through thick and thin, sickness and health. Yet they cannot stand by each other in sickness and it brings tears to my eyes.
It breaks my heart that we cannot be there for each other in our times of need. There are people who need to be there for each other in times of sickness and I need to support that.
Ultimately... the words of Martin Niemoller are applicable here.
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me
and by then there was no one left to speak out for me.
Words Fail Me
I had hoped for a better today. I had hoped that doing what is right and what is just would prevail.
It did not.
Today a decision came down from the California Supreme Court regarding Proposition 8. They upheld it. Prop H8 stands, the proposition that bans gay people from getting married.
The proposition that denies equality. The proposition that stands for closed-minded and closed-hearted people.
The justices hide behind their robes. They could have made a statement. They could have upheld that all men (and women) are created equal.
They did not. They upheld that the people have the right to change the constitution through the ballotbox. I was not aware that it is copacetic to change the words of a nation.
We are not equal. We are not even close to equal. It has been handed down that a group of people are allowed to be spit on, stomped on, and otherwise outcasted.
I am not only disappointed in the justices. I find myself disappointed in my homestate's constituents. Those who voted yes stand behind their bibles and their families... they stand behind their fear and their hate. The Bible says a great many things and I could go to every person who quotes me the Bible and show them exactly how they are not living by every word of the Bible. It is a time of change, a time of technology, a time not like written in the Bible. It is not about every word, it is about the root, the lessons. What is at the root of every lesson? That's right - love. So those hiding behind their Bibles should stop. Those who claim they believe in family should go hug and kiss their spouses, look in on their children sleeping, and tell themselves they've ripped this dream that they live in away from thousands of people.
Stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of something different, stop being afraid of your own sexuality. I do not care if you are gay, straight, bi, confused, or anything else. I am straight. I am comfortable being straight. And because I am comfortable, I stand for my fellow man because I AM NOT AFRAID. I am not afraid of me, my sexuality, or my power. I will stand with the down-trodden, with the beaten, because they deserve every chance, every dream that I hold. I will stand, without fear, by my fellow person because we all deserve a chance to live. I have been censured by those close to me and I have every conviction that these very same people are rejoicing in their prejudice as we speak. I will continue to vote, to fight, to offer my voice. I will stand firm for those who need more people, more voices, more love.
Whatever state you are from, I beseech you. Look in your heart. Look in your heart past the politics, past simple words on a page, past fear. Look deep and remember what love means to you and then give somebody the chance to also share their own love. If this is not enough for you, then think about the struggles of our country. Through race and gender, we have become legally equal. This is no different. Continue this vein of equality. Do the right thing by giving every man and woman a chance to be equal.
Do you want to die knowing you hated or do you want to die knowing you loved?
It did not.
Today a decision came down from the California Supreme Court regarding Proposition 8. They upheld it. Prop H8 stands, the proposition that bans gay people from getting married.
The proposition that denies equality. The proposition that stands for closed-minded and closed-hearted people.
The justices hide behind their robes. They could have made a statement. They could have upheld that all men (and women) are created equal.
They did not. They upheld that the people have the right to change the constitution through the ballotbox. I was not aware that it is copacetic to change the words of a nation.
We are not equal. We are not even close to equal. It has been handed down that a group of people are allowed to be spit on, stomped on, and otherwise outcasted.
I am not only disappointed in the justices. I find myself disappointed in my homestate's constituents. Those who voted yes stand behind their bibles and their families... they stand behind their fear and their hate. The Bible says a great many things and I could go to every person who quotes me the Bible and show them exactly how they are not living by every word of the Bible. It is a time of change, a time of technology, a time not like written in the Bible. It is not about every word, it is about the root, the lessons. What is at the root of every lesson? That's right - love. So those hiding behind their Bibles should stop. Those who claim they believe in family should go hug and kiss their spouses, look in on their children sleeping, and tell themselves they've ripped this dream that they live in away from thousands of people.
Stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of something different, stop being afraid of your own sexuality. I do not care if you are gay, straight, bi, confused, or anything else. I am straight. I am comfortable being straight. And because I am comfortable, I stand for my fellow man because I AM NOT AFRAID. I am not afraid of me, my sexuality, or my power. I will stand with the down-trodden, with the beaten, because they deserve every chance, every dream that I hold. I will stand, without fear, by my fellow person because we all deserve a chance to live. I have been censured by those close to me and I have every conviction that these very same people are rejoicing in their prejudice as we speak. I will continue to vote, to fight, to offer my voice. I will stand firm for those who need more people, more voices, more love.
Whatever state you are from, I beseech you. Look in your heart. Look in your heart past the politics, past simple words on a page, past fear. Look deep and remember what love means to you and then give somebody the chance to also share their own love. If this is not enough for you, then think about the struggles of our country. Through race and gender, we have become legally equal. This is no different. Continue this vein of equality. Do the right thing by giving every man and woman a chance to be equal.
Do you want to die knowing you hated or do you want to die knowing you loved?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Another Month!
Has gone by! Amazing how time just flies. Let's see if I can lay out the last month in an expeditious, non-blabbing fashion... although this is me we're talking about... Chatterbox isn't my middle name for nothing!
I went home on my mother's birthday to spend the weekend with her, dad, and cousin Meredith. Meredith, mom, Sharon, and I all went to the spa one day of the weekend - that will be my second luxury splurge when I get a second job - more massages! Otherwise, it was tons of fun to see my peeps and get to hang with them. Something new... was the Renaissance Fair! Granted, it has been around for years, but I've never been. I ended up going with Lynn, Shelly, and Nick and had a blast! Our feet were disgustingly dirty (that's what flip-flops in dirt will do for you), and we were beyond tired on the way home (Lynn and I slept - yes, there's incriminating evidence of this), but it was all insanely worth it.
I came back and had a 20 page paper due and my stats final. All of it went incredibly well, much better than I had anticipated. So school remains good and classes next semester look like they'll be fun.
Now I'm gearing up to FINALLY take and pass my NASM (personal training) exam. As I'm working a ton of shifts in the next few days, I have chosen to break up the studying into only a couple chapters a day and do it that way. Then job searching it is!
On the other search front, the apartment one, mom was here last week and we found one! Beautiful place in Arlington, Virginia that's bigger, cheaper, closer to the metro, and right by a mall. One problem. It's right by a mall... and I have a smaller closet. This could be potentially life-threatening.
More exciting news is that I'm a team leader for the upcoming Race for the Cure in Washington DC. I work at Curves and my boss and I thought it would be fun to actually have a team this year as she wasn't planning on it because of a whole assortment of issues, but since active little me is here, why not? I have to admit to being a wee bit disappointed though. We set the team goal at $1,500. In the whole scheme of things, not all that much. We get about 50 people a day in here, if all 50 gave a dollar a day, we'd come pretty darn close! Much less if some folks gave more. I'm not sure if it's because of the recession or because they have other charities they are giving to, but not very much has been raised and I just feel that, if we have even a few dollars to spare, give it to something that will last and that will help. The monies go to research and lobbying and all sorts of fun stuff. But, to me, the most important? Monies go to women who need treatment and cannot pay for it. I paid $45 to enter the race and walk 3 miles. I, admittedly, do not really have that kind of money to spare right now. I have June rent to pay and still need to pay my test fee. But, I have a job and I have my health and for this I'm lucky. So if you're feeling like you have even $5 to spare, please donate. http://globalrace.info-komen.org/site/TR/GlobalRaceForTheCure/GlobalRace?px=5289471&pg=personal&fr_id=1140
See you all soon!
I went home on my mother's birthday to spend the weekend with her, dad, and cousin Meredith. Meredith, mom, Sharon, and I all went to the spa one day of the weekend - that will be my second luxury splurge when I get a second job - more massages! Otherwise, it was tons of fun to see my peeps and get to hang with them. Something new... was the Renaissance Fair! Granted, it has been around for years, but I've never been. I ended up going with Lynn, Shelly, and Nick and had a blast! Our feet were disgustingly dirty (that's what flip-flops in dirt will do for you), and we were beyond tired on the way home (Lynn and I slept - yes, there's incriminating evidence of this), but it was all insanely worth it.
I came back and had a 20 page paper due and my stats final. All of it went incredibly well, much better than I had anticipated. So school remains good and classes next semester look like they'll be fun.
Now I'm gearing up to FINALLY take and pass my NASM (personal training) exam. As I'm working a ton of shifts in the next few days, I have chosen to break up the studying into only a couple chapters a day and do it that way. Then job searching it is!
On the other search front, the apartment one, mom was here last week and we found one! Beautiful place in Arlington, Virginia that's bigger, cheaper, closer to the metro, and right by a mall. One problem. It's right by a mall... and I have a smaller closet. This could be potentially life-threatening.
More exciting news is that I'm a team leader for the upcoming Race for the Cure in Washington DC. I work at Curves and my boss and I thought it would be fun to actually have a team this year as she wasn't planning on it because of a whole assortment of issues, but since active little me is here, why not? I have to admit to being a wee bit disappointed though. We set the team goal at $1,500. In the whole scheme of things, not all that much. We get about 50 people a day in here, if all 50 gave a dollar a day, we'd come pretty darn close! Much less if some folks gave more. I'm not sure if it's because of the recession or because they have other charities they are giving to, but not very much has been raised and I just feel that, if we have even a few dollars to spare, give it to something that will last and that will help. The monies go to research and lobbying and all sorts of fun stuff. But, to me, the most important? Monies go to women who need treatment and cannot pay for it. I paid $45 to enter the race and walk 3 miles. I, admittedly, do not really have that kind of money to spare right now. I have June rent to pay and still need to pay my test fee. But, I have a job and I have my health and for this I'm lucky. So if you're feeling like you have even $5 to spare, please donate. http://globalrace.info-komen.org/site/TR/GlobalRaceForTheCure/GlobalRace?px=5289471&pg=personal&fr_id=1140
See you all soon!
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